things i did in new york

the (same?) city, three years later.

but this time i must admit, i was not ready for it.

(can one ever be ready for new york?)

/

i came from my bike, from my room, from trails and paths lined with plants;

and now here i am, again, and there is so much stimulation;

lights and noise and people and conversation and heat.

the smell of piss and fermentation.

/

i am struck by the speed at which the city moves,

with a word, “next!”, i must hurry to disappear before the hyper-consuming eye so some other body can come to take the place where i once stood.

/

i step out into the city and i disappear into the surges/flows/currents of people in the street,

and at once i am electrified and energized:

my neck is snapping and my hands are compulsive and my synapses are firing.

i am overwhelmed. i am walked. i am socialized. i am enclosed in concrete and unable to see the horizon. i am thoroughly exhausted, and it wears down in my eyes.

/

i arrived in pieces to a city in constant chaos,

worlds swirling and glittering and collapsing and expanding, like stars in the universe.

/

yet still, there is an eccentric magic in this city:

microphone, american flag, and convertible;

holding a bag of cans like a baby;

the dirty feet of a rich lady;

plants growing along uneven sidewalks;

people adorned in color and print and metal and silk;

bodies that are tight bodies that give;

gentle paws and amputated talons on the concrete;

friends come together from far away;

lovers breathing close in bed.

/

i am in new york and it is summer and i am hoarse and my knees ache with much walking.

i am in new york and i am loved and i love and it is intense and sweaty and all-consuming.

/

this is new york, to me;

filthy, fueled by frenetic energy, and just beautiful enough to keep me coming back.

//

~moments in new york, june 2021

central park

eat + drink-

• shrimp tacos from the little beet table
• high vibrations juice bar- look alive (you can really can taste the celery)
• osteria brooklyn — bread and tomato , merluzzo , sparkling water, dine streetwise!
• lisa dumplings- pork and green peppers steamed
• samosas from the modern indian veg/vegan street food
• carnitas taco from castro’s
• cholesterol buster from energy fuel
• vegan chocolate chip cookie dough from van leeuwen
• coconut pineapple cake from mia’s brooklyn bakery

the best shrimp tacos

go to-

• walk to or through williamsburg
• naval cemetery landscape
• nordstrom in manhattan huge and pretty and lots to see friendly
• express barre class at the bar method

brooklyn

songs i listened to-

• i left my heart in san francisco (while coming up for air at the clinton washington station)
• call me if you get lost (yes, the entire album)- tyler the creator
• one minute- hauskey, hope tala
• your love is king- sade
• i feel like i’m falling in love again- fantastic four
• you are the sunshine of my life- stevie wonder
• joke ting- goldlink, ari pensmith
• the sweetest taboo- sade

this entire album.

~phrases and images that got stuck in my teeth;

• hey lady! // a day of brunch, sweaty conversation, and so much love // we are drinking water and we are by the water and you are so brilliant
• back on the bus // thank you for walking and waiting with me
• the walk to sunday in brooklyn
• first summer party first new york party first post vaccine party
• the most beautiful four men I ever did see // I have been shaken // my eyes split
• a hand in the metro door // for two colorful strangers, a plastic multicolor chain necklace
• “working on a river” → “working on a riveeer”
• thinking of the gallery: floor texture, ceiling texture, walls, sounds, objects
• overheard on the subway: “could one of you spare a colorful bill that makes me smile- the one with the two oh on it so I can eat two times instead of once… I haven’t eaten three meals a day since covid… might do a home invasion… might kick down someone’s door, hog tie them, and cook all their food in front of them for two weeks…”
• postcards from the museum // and i didn’t think of you
• aimé, loved. desiré, desired.
• sade and a little vegan ice cream
• my ears popped though // a subway under water
• surrounded by plants and people
• dining al fresco with an old friend and a little lamb
• sade in the mall cafe
• estrellita and bach in the park
• b & h for the first time // “it’s like being a kid in a candy store”
• skaters and pup on the park steps
• the view from the bathroom
• 49th street // in bright red brick // ouch
• can I offer you a menu? // shoe shopping
• dumplings in central park
• new birks
• nordstrom with a long time friend
• taking myself on a new york date!
• lethargic swaying exhaustion, total.
• “do you want me to send this back for you?”
• fotografiska // tom of finland // miles aldridge // adrienne raquel (onyx) // pixy liao (your gaze belongs to me) // hassan hajjaj (vogue, the arab issue)
• a peloton class in german // among sweaty friends
• a house of depressed people
• everyday a small earthquake
• realizing the artsy partnership i could want/have
• my head whirring after the first day
• i’m home where the plants are

///

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